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amandacraft217
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Name: Amanda
Country: Russia
Metro: St. Petersburg
Birthday: 2/17/1982
Gender: Female
Interests: Russian Lit., Art, Christianity, Soccer, Harry Potter
Clubs, jobs: Teach For America, The Village Church, ESI
Books: Brothers Karamazov, Everything is Illuminated, Anna Karenina, Master and Margarita, Pride and Prejudice, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Daniel Deronda, Jane Eyre, David Copperfield, A Light in August
Movies:Pride and Prejudice, Billy Elliott, the Remains of the Day, Kolya, Amelie, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Pirates of the Carribean
Music: Postal Service, Sufjan Stevens, Stravinsky, Jeff Buckley, Iron and Wine, The Shins, Spoon, Modest Mousel, Nickel Creek, U2, Beethoven, Pachelbel,
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  cheezy123456789
Member Since:
8/17/2005
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| For a while I wasn’t sure whether or not I was going to continue to
write in this blog, but after the prodding of friends and family, I am
going to keep at it, apologies though, if life is not as thought
provoking or as exciting this side of the atlantic ocean.
About 3 weeks ago I bought a one-way ticket to New York City. I
had no apartment and no job. I still have no permanent apartment
and no permanent job. Those few details aside though, I am
beginning to settle into my new life.
The good news is that I do have a place to stay until October 1,
and a fairly permanent temp job at Teach For America. It is
amazing to see how I have been provided for and the wonderful
protection that God has brought to me, but still, I miss
something steady and permanent in my life. I have never lived
more than a year in one physical space for the past 6 years, and this
summer alone, I have slept in 14 different homes.
I miss Russia, I miss my friends there, I even miss teaching.
Part of missing Russia is caused my inability to get even an interview
with an organization that works with her. I have already had to
turn down 3 jobs with TFA (and I just got a phone call about another
one), but I haven’t even gotten a rejection from one of the
organization’s that I felt God calling me to. Is my love for this
country going to simply sputter out into a faint memory? What am
I to do with my passion? How am I to share my love for this
country if I have no outlet to express myself?
On the upside, I have spent a lot of time in Brooklyn this week, and I
am falling back in love with the city that I was so forlorn to leave 15
months ago. There is so much life here, so much diversity, so
many crazy liberals, so many trees, long walks, and unairconditioned
apartments.
I Heart New York.
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| So, I should apologize for waiting so long to write this blog. The last month has been one of the busiest of my life. I took a job with Teach For America’s Atlanta institute, knowing that I would be working hard, but the 16 hour days and the first 3 weeks which passed without a single day off were rough to be sure. In the end though, it is all for the sake of education and for trying to right the achievement gap that exists in our schools today.
That said, it has been hard for me to process much. I am lucky if I can get 15 minutes alone with God let alone any time to sit and reflect on what happened to me last year. Talking to people that don’t know anything about Russia is a step, but it isn’t really what I need. I had a chance to speak with Sarah last week, and it was the first time that I felt really safe talking about Russia. We had some of the same feelings about the difficulty and yet easiness of coming back to America and all things familiar. I decided to buy my plane ticket to training after that call, because I now realize how important it will be to reflect on my time overseas with others who have that experience in common.
Though work has been very busy, things are starting to slow down, or else I am able to work more efficiently in order to have some time to start thinking. I am thinking about how anyone is able to be an investment banker, how to balance relationships with a career, how to know the difference between working hard as a means of using your strengths and working hard in a way that is hurtful to our relationships. I don’t have any answers, just a lot to think about before I move back to New York. | | |
| So I now officially write to you from Memphis, TN. After a crazy
two days of traveling, I have finally landed in the southland.
How does it feel? Well…to be honest, I don’t really know
yet. Coming home has left me with a bad case of jet lag and
allergies, which together have made my time at home nothing more than
staying home and watching TV so far. My dad keeps asking me if I
feel culture shock yet, but to be honest, I don’t think that it has
really hit me that I am not going back to Russia yet.
I still haven’t processed leaving yet, I haven’t talked a lot about my
time. I am going to wait a week to write my final newsletter,
because honestly, I am not that sure yet what I think about my year or
how it ended? Everything here in Memphis seems so normal, and yet
nothing in Russia seems (in retrospect) that foreign either.
Perhaps (because of coming home twice this year) my mind and heart have
tricked themselves into thinking that I will be going back to Russia
soon. In the mean time, I have been listening to Russian band,
Uma 2rman, and loving every minute of it.
Overall, thinks did end well. I hate saying goodbyes, so I
usually become farely distant and I don’t allow myself to feel the full
brunt of what it means. Rest assured though, I will definitely be
keeping in contact with several of the students whom I was closer too,
and I will always look upon my year in Russia as life transforming and
wonderful.
More to come on my reacclamation to the states…I am sure that the reality of this change will kick in soon enough.
On a lighter note, My teammate Sarah listed some highlights from our
students’ presentations last week so I thought that I would do the
same, Below are some of the things that we learned:
- Sarah is the sun and I am the moon,
- One student never planned on coming to class or doing work
because he thought that signing up for our program was an easy way to
pay his way out taking an English exam (luckily he changed his mind and
ended up with a B)
- The day one student met us was the scariest day of his life.
- We are the only Americans that have never asked to learn Russian curse words
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| OK, So this update is long so bear with me for a while.
Students:
There have been so many times when I have questioned my role here as a
Christian English teacher, when I have asked myself, why am I
here? What is my purpose? This week, God has been so good
as to share with me that there is some significance to my presence
here.
This week, my American culture classes have been doing their final
presentations. In my Thursday evening class, I was not sure how
this would go. This class is an older group of students, few of
whom take me very seriously. (On several occasions the entire group has
decided not to show up. ) Imagine my surprise then when two of
these girls came to my house last week for a movie night that Sarah and
I planned for our students. It was really great to speak with
them and to get to learn more about them and to know them better.
Furthermore, in one of the presentations this Thursday, one student
used her presentation as an opportunity to share something that had
been very hard for her. A friend of hers had been murdered
and robbed all for 70 dollars. It was a very powerful
speech. The best part was having the chance to talk to her and
the two other students who had shown up in order to do their
presentations. Though they were able to go at 5:30 (class ends at
6:15), we all stayed and talked until 7:00. It was great because
I was able to share some of the things on my mind regarding my move
back to the states. I am worried about regretting my decision to
come back, about feeling out of place here, about struggling with the
overindulgences which were such a large part of my life in the
states. I am hoping to keep up with several of these students,
and it was really great to know that this semester has meant something
to them.
Next, I have been spending an increasing amount of time with my
business students who I love dearly! I never knew that I would
miss some of these guys so much. Even Misha the class clown, who
can give me such a hard time some times, I don't know what I will do
without his smiles and jokes each day. How will I be able to
share these moments with other people when I am in the states?
How can I relay my love for so much that has happened this year?
Part of me wants to take home all of the journals that I have spent
hours grading and writing comments in. I will miss the laughs of
mistaken grammar, or the smiles that come from stories of teenage love,
and the deep-thought dialogues on truth, and the important things of
this life. Fortunately, several students have expressed an
interest in keeping up with me over email, and I am excited at having
several amazing penpals for the next few years.
Wisdom:
I feel like this has been an increasingly interesting topic
lately. It is something that I have longed for, and yet,
something that I am feel increasingly devoid of. How is it, that
I can feel less wise, the more I live in the world. Am I going
backwards or am I merely beginning to understand how far I have to
go? That said, I have recently begun reading Proverbs, and so
far, it has been amazing. It is telling me all things that I have
heard before, but which I need desperately to hear again and
again. They have renewed meaning in my life and, I hope, are
beginning to change my heart.
Yasnaya Polyana,
After an, 8 hour train ride, a one hour metro ride, a 3.5 hour bus
ride, a 20 minute marshrutka ride and a 15 minute walk through a quaint
Russian village. I finally made it to Yasnaia Polyana in
tact. Words can not describe how it felt to be in the place where
such great works of art were begun. Standing in Tolstoy's estate
(which was rather more humble than I had expected) I was able to
see why he loved this beautiful country so much, how he was able to be
so giving to the poor, and how he was able to stay so in contact with
God (the nature around him was marvelous.)
I was able to go on a Russian tour (and I actually understood a good
bit fortunately). Another highlight was that the tour included
me, 12 ten-year-old boys, and their teacher. I definitely felt
like I was back in School.
I will try to post pictures soon.
Upcoming travels:
The final countdown has officially begun and I have 6 days left in St.
Petersburg. I will be leaving on Saturday the 27th and will
touch down in Memphis on the evening of the 28th, after 4 flights, 5
airports, a taxi ride and one 15 hour layover (I hope that the
couches in Heathrow are comfortable). I will be in Memphis for
just 4 days before moving to Atlanta for 7 weeks, where I will be
working at Teach For America's summer institute there. Let me
know if you will in either Memphis or Atlanta, because it would be
great to see you all.
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| Uuurrahhhh, Uuuurrrahhhh! These were the shouts that were heard
all day yesterday on Nevskii Prospekt as I watched the parade of WWII
vets and other younger military personal parade proudly in honor of
their country. For those you of you who didn’t know, Russia
apparently one WWII…by itself. Thus, this is one of the most
celebrated holidays here, and means much more to Russians than a simple
3 day holiday. Festivities were fun loving and sometimes soviet
in nature, and I even began to feel a bit of Russian pride myself as I
chatted with my neighbors about the parade.
This was just one of the many very exciting experiences that I have had
this May in St. Petersburg. In general the fine weather, long
daylight hours, and the renewed passion for the city that everyone here
(Americans and Russians alike) has had has brought a full heart to my
experiences here. The color green has never been so appreciated,
and when seen in combination with the newly washed facades of the city
center, the cloudless skies overhead, and the coatless and stylishly
clad shoppers on Nevskii Prospekt, ones eyes become overloaded.
I intend to get my fill of all that Russia has to offer before I go
home, but sadly this time is beginning to wane. I am happy to
tell you that I have accepted a position for the summer with Teach For
America as the Director of Data Management for their Teaching Institute
in Atlanta. Unfortunately this means that I will now be leaving
Russia on May 27th rather than June 7th as I had previously
anticipated. Not to fear though, I have already begun
planning my cultural “to do” list.
See a Russian movie (tonight)
Get a Russian hair cut (today)
The Summer Gardens (on Sunday with students, Dasha and Anja)
Christophski Island (sometime next week with Students Olya, Kate, Andrei, and Julia)
Pushkin Summer Palace (an upcoming Saturday with Lyosha and Polly)
The Russian Museum one last time
The Hermitage one last time
The Pushkin Museum
The Alexksander Nevskii Monastary (and the cemetery here where Dostoevski is buried)
Yasnaya Polyana!
This last item is my one big splurge. I am taking the night train
to Moscow in order to visit Tolstoi’s estate, childhood home, and
gravesight. Those of you who have ever heard me talk about
Tolstoi, or any one of his novels don’t need me to explain how excited
I am. I am just sad that noone will be there to laugh at how
excited I am. This experience will most likely bring about a blog
unto itself.
Besides these events, since classes are beginning to end, I am simply
preparing for my last rounds of grading, and preparing for my future
employment. If you could pray for me to find the right position
(I am focusing my attention on New York based international NGOs or
non-profit consulting firms), and to trust in God’s provision for such
a position, that would be great. Also if you have any
connections, those would also be warmly welcomed ;).
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